Staying sane while we are surrounded by holiday insanity is an especially difficult proposition. We add extra activities to already overfull schedules. We are surrounded with media pressure to buy more, do more, go more, and often, we really want to. When we don’t manage to get everything done, we feel stressed and tired and kick ourselves for not having the holiday spirit.
If you are trying to find a better way, and can’t afford to pack up and go on vacation for the next three or four weeks, ask yourself these questions:
- What am I feeling resentful or resigned about doing? (Buying gifts you can’t really afford–doing things for or with people you don’t really like — baking special treats when you don’t have time you are all possibilities.)
- What are the reasons I give myself for doing each of those things? (If you answer “I would feel guilty if I didn’t.” check the reasons for your guilt. Is it because you will hurt someone’s feelings? Disappoint someone? Not carry on a family tradition?)
- What would really happen if I didn’t do this particular thing? (You may need to do some research to answer this one. Many of my clients find that asking the person they are worried about hurting brings surprising information.)
- Am I willing to live with the real consequences of not doing this? (Sometimes consequences are really minor.)
Now make a decision about whether or not you will do each item. (If YOU feel very sad or dissapointed about your decision, go through the questions again, and add your sadness to the consequences. Only YOU can decide which decisions are right for YOU!)
If you need help, call me. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Is this you? “I don’t need therapy, but I could use some advice about…”
[tags]Relationships, Self Help, Self-Improvement, Personal Growth[/tags]