Judy was an abuse survivor who used her talent as a sculptress both to heal herself and to argue passionately for the protection of children in dangerous situations. Judy died 6 years ago and I still miss her. I worked with her for many years and she had a huge impact on my life.

During the conversation in Dallas I, mentioned that a videotape existed of Judy describing her artwork. The recording was made 13 years ago. Two people asked for copies of it.

I discovered only one copy in my files. The phone number for the business that owned the master tape did not work.

I found the original owner in the phone book. He had closed his business 7 years ago, and was about 3 days away from disposing of all the remaining masters.

The next day this kind man, George Kinzer, delivered the master tape to my door.

OK, that’s a minor miracle. The real miracle was the work that went into producing the recording. It starts with Judy’s survival and sanity. It continues with the impact her work had on the person who asked a TV news station to show the work. Then the TV station actually released the work to us! (A very rare occurrence.)

After the TV crew left, someone continued interviewing Judy and taping each statue and her description of it. All of the tape, some professional and some made with a home video camera, was given to George, who agreed to put it together for a nominal fee.

He worked on it for many extra unpaid hours, adding titles and enhancing and editing the home video. We distributed copies of the tape for educational purposes and then more or less forgot about it.

But there was a continuing problem. Judy’s voice was barely audible, and we did not have the technology to enhance it. We had to send written transcripts to make the tape usable.

The final miracle just happened. We were able to get the tape transferred to DVD so that we can easily make copies. When we received it, I reviewed it and with new technology Judy’s voice is audible.

I am willing to share copies of the DVD. However, BE WARNED! The 33-minute recording contains graphic images of extreme child abuse. It is emotionally challenging to watch — and I think, very important.

If you want a copy for educational purposes — your own education or, if you are a professional, to educate others — contact me directly. Laurie Weiss at Empowerment Systems .com [Close the spaces and change the at to @.] Or call 303-794-5379.

In the US, the cost will be $20 including shipping. Outside the US $25.

Another miracle to me is my complete recovery from my physical challenges of the summer. I am back in my exercise routine and I have even increased my strength in some areas. I feel wonderful.

Its fall in Colorado. We have been blessed with a tree full of Golden Delicious apples that I have been picking and giving away. By the end of the week we will be traveling again to spend time with our family.

I hope you are enjoying the miracles in your own life.

Warmly,

Laurie
[tags]Sexual Abuse,Psychotherapy,Inner Child,Personal Growth,Abuse[/tags]

Judy, who has since died, was committed to helping stop child abuse by letting people know what it feels like to be an abused child — and she was successful.

Most people who have the courage to look at her statues recoil in horror. Many of them report intense feelings of anger, guilt, and shame. They naturally feel angry at the abusers. Sometimes they feel guilty, as I did myself, for taking advantage, however minor, of a small child’s vulnerability. But why do they feel shame?

Although the TV segment was beautifully and sensitively done, alluding to, rather than actually showing the most horrible things, some viewers were still profoundly moved. When Judy first saw the show, she felt both fear and shame, feelings which didn’t diminished until her friends told her how moved they were by her suffering and her courage. But why did she feel shame?

Shame is what we feel when we believe there is something irretrievably wrong with our very being — and that someone else can see it. It is a feeling of wanting to hide, to vanish completely, to never show our faces again. It is an intensely painful emotion, and very common among trauma survivors and witnesses to traumatic events.

People who are traumatized by abuse or by other events, either as children or as adults, often believe that the trauma happened because of something wrong with them: that they caused it, even when they know logically that they were victims. Witnesses sometimes feel ashamed about their relief that it didn’t happen to them.

If you are a trauma survivor and feel ashamed to tell about your experience, gather enough courage to tell someone. Seek help for yourself — healing is possible! And never, never, never, never, hurt a child or knowingly allow one to be hurt!

Is this you? “I don’t need therapy, but I could use some advice about…”
[tags]Sexual Abuse, Personal Growth, Psychotherapy, Emotional Problems, Inner Child, Abuse[/tags]

More and more people recovering from addictions and compulsive behavior are beginning to uncover evidence of childhood sexual abuse. Experiencing these memories can be devastating.

Sexual abuse, like other emotional and physical abuse in childhood, can be healed — and can be safely brought to awareness for healing. As the survivor of sexual abuse reaches the time when she/he is ready to face the past, s/he begins to uncover some of the following concerns, fears, feelings:

• Maybe I am making it up. I am not even sure it happened.
• I suspect it happened —I don’t remember —I just have
  a physical reaction each time I think or hear about sexual abuse.
• It wasn’t all that bad.
• I can’t stop crying — will I ever get over this?
• I feel like I am bad/dirty. I am so ashamed.
• I want to hide/kill myself. I am mad enough to kill them.
• I can’t believe s/he would do a thing that bad.
• I feel like everyone knows I am no good.
• I hate him/her.
• I know s/he couldn’t help it; s/he was hurt, too.
• Why didn’t my mother/father protect me?
• I do not want to remember.
• I have never told anyone before.

As the survivor begins to be able to say these things to a trusted person , s/he needs to hear that trusted person saying:

• I’m sorry it happened.
• I believe you.
• It is very important to be able to tell now.
• If I had been there I would have made him/her stop.
• Even if you enjoyed part of it, you are not wrong or bad.
• You have a right to be angry.
• He/she should not have done what they did to you.
• I am sorry no one believed you.
• I am sorry you did not have a grownup to talk to
  about what happened.
• Knowing this makes me care more about you, not less.
• It is OK not to remember everything. You forgot in order
  to protect yourself. The memories will only come back
  as you grow strong enough to handle them. Take your time.
• It’s OK to cry for as long as you need to.
• You really were not big/strong enough to make him/her stop.

Go out and look at a little child, or picture yourself as a child. See how little and vulnerable you were. You couldn’t help it. It is not your fault. It is not your job to protect the person who did this to you.

You need to know you are not alone in your experience. An estimated 34 million women in the United States have been victims of some type of childhood sexual abuse. The figures are less certain for men.

You have taken a first important step by getting your concerns into the open with someone you trust to care for you. You are laying the groundwork for a whole new future for yourself and for those you love.