Dec 25

You can register HERE for some fabulous free tele-seminars with a mindset of joy, gratitude, authenticity and inspiration celebrating the holidays. Check them out. It includes Deepak Chopra, Marci Shimoff, Gay Hendricks, and many others. http://maestropath.com/holiday

My daughter sent a note saying if I was going to talk about getting organized I should tell you about NAPO, The National Association of Professional Organizers. There is an organizer search function to find help with your organizing needs. 

Enjoy!

written by Laurie Weiss \\ tags: , , ,

Dec 20

To help manifest Dr. Joe Rubino’s vision of raising the self-esteem level of 20 million people, here’s an irresistible offer for you that
includes over $10,000 in free gifts!  

Dr. Joe Rubino is one of the world’s foremost experts on the topic of Self-Esteem and best-selling author of The Self-Esteem Book: The Ultimate Guide to Boost the Most Underrated Ingredient for Success and Happiness in Life. He
has put together an awesome list of free bonuses to reward those who purchase his life-changing Self-Esteem ystem.  

He’s also offering you a free insightful audio called 7 Steps to Soaring Self-Esteem and a complimentary 1-year membership in The Success Achievers’ Club ($129 value) just for checking it out. See http://cli.gs/V8WdP2.  

Learn how you can help raise the consciousness of the planet by elevating your own self-esteem or the self-esteem level of those you love. Pick up your Audio and Club Membership for free at http://cli.gs/V8WdP2

Let me tell you a little about this life-enhancing Self-Esteem System. It’s being called the most comprehensive guide to simply and almost effortlessly raise anyone’s level of self-esteem. I’m confident that you will find this 3 part program to benefit everyone — from those with deficiencies in particular areas to those with more pervasive self-esteem challenges. 

The Self-Esteem System will support you to: 

  1. Heal and Complete Your Past; 
  2. Properly Assess Your Present Situation to Determine What’s Working Optimally and What’s Missing in Each of the 6 Areas of Your Life; 
  3. Design a Compelling Future that Honors Your Most Important Values and Champions You in Manifesting Your Gifts and Living Your Life Purpose.

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You’ll automatically receive an email with all the information needed to claim all your complimentary gifts. 

Remember… to receive your $10,000 + in free bonuses, you must order any package at http://cli.gs/V8WdP2 before this special offer expires. 

Remember The Self-Esteem System also makes a perfect gift!

written by Laurie Weiss \\ tags: , , , ,

Dec 10

A client who frequently loses focus in her own life when she notices that someone else is in pain or difficulty asked me if I could help her get to the state described by His Holiness the Dalai Lama in the following quote.

“A mind committed to compassion is like an overflowing reservoir – a constant source of energy, determination and kindness. This is like a seed, that when cultivated, gives rise to many other good qualities, such as forgiveness, tolerance, inner strength and the confidence to overcome fear and insecurity. The compassionate mind is like an elixir; it is capable of transforming bad situations into beneficial ones. Therefore, we should not limit our expressions of love and compassion to our family and friends. Nor is the compassion only the responsibility of clergy, health care and social workers. It is the necessary business of every part of the human community.” 

This client confuses the feeling of compassion with taking action that may or may not help the recipient, but is damaging to herself and her goals for her own life. 

She often becomes a Rescuer instead of a helper who puts on her own oxygen mask before assisting others. When she Rescues from this caring but thoughtless position she eventually becomes a Victim who needs assistance herself. 

In Transactional Analysis terms the kind of compassion described in the quote comes from an integrated Adult. An integrated Adult in a mature person attends to and considers (Inner) Parent rules, (Inner) Child needs and the constraints of reality before making decisions to take action. 

My client often makes decisions from a Child ego state, eager to please someone, and/or a Parent ego state that discounts the needs of the Child ego state and who tells my client that the needs of others are important and her needs are not.

These guidelines can help anyone in this position, who feels compassionate and wants to help others to be genuinely helpful instead of risking martyrdom.

Guidelines for Helping Without Rescuing 

  1. What do I think would be helpful?
  2. What evidence am I using to decide that help is needed?
  3. Do I have the resources to provide this help?
  4. What will helping cost me? (Time, energy, money, etc.)
  5. How will helping benefit me? (I’ll have more fun, feel less tense, feel like a good person, be more comfortable asking for things for myself later, etc.)
  6. What is likely to happen if I don’t help?
  7. Given these predicted costs and benefits, do I really want to help?
  8. Has the other person asked for help?

    If the answer is yes and you want to help, clarify what you can do and go ahead and do it.
    If the answer is yes and if you don’t want to help, decline and suggest an alternative.
    If the answer is no and you still want to help, don’t just go ahead. Instead offer some specific help. Wait for the other person’s agreement. If you don’t get agreement, don’t help!

  9. Check to see if your help is actually helping. (Ask questions, observe)
  10. Give only as much help as needed. Giving more than is needed often leads to resentment for the helper and low self-esteem for the recipient.
  11. Accept the positive strokes youget for helping. (Say thank you.)

written by Laurie Weiss \\ tags: , , , , ,

Dec 03

Change happens. I just revisited a shockingly orderly storeroom in my home. Just 24 hours ago I recruited my husband and my visiting son to excavate 20 years worth of stacked boxes and precarious piles of miscellaneous treasures.

By the time we finished we had a car trunk full of items to deliver to a donation center, several huge boxes of papers to recycle, a pile of trash and many miscellaneous items related to the obsolete technology of developing film in a darkroom.

Some of the choices were easy to make. We asked questions like,

  • Do you need this?  
  • Will you miss it if you never see it again?  
  • What on earth is this?  
  • Can somebody else use this?” 

Other choices were more difficult.

Photography was a hobby shared by my husband and my dad, who bequeathed his (then ancient) darkroom equipment to us over 40 years ago. A few pieces have sentimental value. I remember using them while helping my father in his darkroom when I was a child. Yet they have no place in my life now. We haven’t decided how to dispose of those things yet.

A question we didn’t ask is why many of the things we saved for so many years were important in the first place. Why did we save them?

I think I saved most things because I expected to use them again. Then I didn’t, and it took more time to make decisions about disposing of them than it did to just let them accumulate. That’s my style. I’m not proud of it. I have a computer full of files that could be pruned — but they’re even less visible than what was in the storeroom. 

How about you? Would you feel better if you released some of the things you intended to use again? Or is it better to just keep moving forward and leave the clutter hidden away until you are moved to address it?

I don’t have an answer for you. What I suggest is to make a choice and relax. What we did do makes me feel lighter as we move into the busyness of the holiday season. And I’m not worrying at all about what I haven’t done yet. 

I wish you and the people you love a joyful and relaxed holiday season.

Also — If you are having trouble dealing with the holidays, watch for a blog post in a few days. My colleague, Dr. Joe Rubino,
created a free 45-minute audio recording called 7 Steps to Soaring Self-Esteem. You can claim it now at http://cli.gs/V8WdP2 if you like, or wait  for the post that explains it in more detail. 
It’ll be a great way for you to start the New Year.

written by Laurie Weiss \\ tags: , , ,

Oct 19

Brief excerpt from a conversation with a client:

Me: So you didn’t live up to your ideals.

Client: That’s right.

Me: Do you think most people live up to their ideals?

Client: I guess they don’t.

Me: Most of us develop our ideals long before we encounter reality.

Client: Hmmmmm

More about Laurie Weiss

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Jun 21

RTAflyerHarvilleHendrix1.at 

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Apr 25

These are my posts covering my trip to Spain from packing on April 5 to the morning after on April 25. Read from the bottom to the top. Follow me on Twitter. http://twitter.com/LaurieWeiss

  1. Pillow to pillow 24.5 hours awake, 23 hours travel time. Now, after 8 hours sleep thinking about food and suitcases. about 10 hours ago from web
  2. Downloading my email in the Philadelphia airport after a pleasant 8.5 hr flight from Barcelona.3:11 PM Apr 24th from web
  3. Starting to transition to my other life. Wonderful day at the pool with my grandsons. Sad that this time with them is over. Leave early AM.2:52 PM Apr 23rd from web
  4. Reading: “Become a Blogging Maniac » Week 2″ (http://twitthis.com/anl8de )2:45 PM Apr 23rd from TwitThis
  5. “Rhinoceroses can kill things. They have smelly breath that is poison.” A (age 4 1/2) to E (age 3)1:35 AM Apr 22nd from web Continue reading »

written by Laurie Weiss \\ tags: , ,

Apr 25

My reachback and afterburn are colliding big-time. I write to help myself think it sort things out so I decided to share this with you.

Those words, invented by Eric Berne, are the best description I know of the situation when finishing one task and preparing to start another run into each other.

Yesterday morning I woke up in Spain and here I am 38 hours later, home in Colorado. I haven’t opened my suitcase and that’s something I need to do today.

  • I also need to unpack the suitcase,
  • fill the empty refrigerator,
  • sort almost 3 weeks worth of mail,
  • do the laundry,
  • sort out the messages I need to respond to
  • and prepare to leave again in a week for the Conversations Among Masters
    conference.

Right now my befuddled brain can’t remember where the conference is. I know it’s somewhere in the Midwest. Jetlag is normal for me under these circumstances. What I would ordinarily do is wander around the house going from one task to another without making choices since they all need to be done.

Writing is an experiment to see if thinking a little bit will help make anything easier. Since Jonathan is in the same boat, I don’t really know if this can go out soon, but that’s OK.

I’ve been reading Byron Katie’s wonderful book, “A Thousand Names For Joy.” It contains her comments on her husband, Stephen Mitchell’s translation of the “Tao Te Ching.” The repeated emphasis of her acceptance of the world exactly as it is inspires me and I would love to get through this day completely accepting my own disorganization.

I’ve put my four-year-old grandson’s birthday card to his grandpa, laboriously printed on bright yellow construction paper, in a prominent place to remind me of the joy of the last two weeks. Now it’s time to get on with this part of my life.

If I can figure out how, I’ll move the Twitter posts on to this blog so you and I can both learn about journaling the trip using social media. This is pretty new to me but one thing I did do was more than quadruple the size of my Twitter list during my trip.

This is the first time I’ve had unlimited access to the Internet while traveling. It made the experience different. I think I like it.

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Apr 02

I don’t know who created this beautiful power point presentation. I wish I could thank and credit it’s creator. The story of "The Daffodil Principle" originally appeared nearly ten years ago in Jaroldeen Edwards’ book Celebration!

It spoke to me because long ago Jonathan and I were waiting until we had more money, until he finished his Ph.D., until we could move, until… Then we decided to stop waiting and start living. It was one of the best decisions we ever made.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. http://tinyurl.com/dhdq3p This link will take you to a dialog box offering to let you open or download the file. You will need Power Point in order to view it, either online or on your own computer. More about Laurie Weiss 

written by Laurie Weiss \\ tags: , ,

Mar 10

Do you ever feel like you’re on the verge of something new and not quite sure what it is or what to do with it?

About 14 years ago we received a website as a gift from our son who had just become a webmaster — a profession I had learned about only weeks earlier. We asked what we would do with it and he told us we would figure it out.

Of course we did figure it out, and the Empowerment Systems website is still growing strong. Not only that it seems to keep multiplying and now has several siblings. If you want to know what I’m talking about just visit http://www.EmpowermentSystems.com and explore.

But that’s not exactly what I wanted to share with you today.

When we attended the annual USATAA gathering in Jamaica a few weeks ago, I found myself in a strange time warp. I was revisiting my past and urging my friends and colleagues to move into the future.

Revisiting the past because my dear friend and first Transactional Analysis trainer, Fanita English, was part of the group. I bonded with her nearly 40 years ago when I did a really important piece of personal work as a part of my training. It literally changed my life in a wonderful way. We’ve had many different kinds of experiences together since then and finally this time we both came to understand how multidimensional our long-term friendship really is.

What an incredible treat for me!

The part about the future came in a discussion of how to revitalize the teaching of Transactional Analysis (TA) throughout the USA. The TA tools I first learned 40 years ago about how to understand, predict and change human behavior are still the basic tools I use to help my clients reach their goals.

While many parts of TA are part of the culture now like "different strokes for different folks" and "quit playing games with me", most people still don’t understand the depth and richness and utility of these tools.

I’m not currently doing any TA teaching but I’ve put links to available training programs here so you can get to them easily. My friend Felipe Garcia is teaching a two day course in San Antonio soon, and there’s an ongoing training program in Fort Worth, Texas.

Once again I got off track — there’s so much to say — the week was very rich. I’ll put up pictures soon on my Facebook page as well as on my blog. I’ll explain why in a minute.

The Jamaica Gathering uses an Open Space format. It’s not like a conference where I need to design and submit what I’m going to say months in advance. It’s a place to share creative ideas and collaborate in their development — another treat for me.

And this time I completely surprised myself. I found myself offering a program on spreading TA information through social networking. Now social networking (Think MySpace) is something as strange and new to me as a website was 14 years ago. I don’t know a lot about it and I keep wondering what I’m doing there, but I know it’s as important as my son knew the original website would be.

I’ll need to share more details about this  in the article I promised to write for the USATAA newsletter and website. However, I have dipped my toes into the water. I’m active on three different networks where I am constantly discovering old and new friends in learning about new aspects of the world. I’m not quite sure what I’m doing or where I’m going but the possibilities seem endless.

If you are there too, join me. In the common language of social networking "be my friend." It’s fun, easy, potentially creative and it’s quite amazing. I’m on Facebook (my space for grown-ups), LinkedIn (a business networking site), and Twitter (share only 140 characters at one time). It’s all about quickly and frequently updating information.

Here are the addresses: Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/aczezk LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/laurieweiss Twitter: http://twitter.com/LaurieWeiss

To join just go to the websites and follow the simple instructions. Come on in — the water’s fine. Anyone can play — it’s easy. I admit I was scared at first — you may be, too — but it’s actually fun and only takes a few minutes.

BTW, The Masters Gathering is still offering lots of fabulous free information. Here is a link to an hour long podcast with the leading recognized raw foodist and super nutritionist David Wolfe, and Dr. Alex Loyd of the "Healing Codes." http://www.themastersgathering.com/LoydWolfe/?10728 Just click the link and listen to it right on your computer. ALSO: Did you know that if someone steals the Exit sign on their way off your plane it can delay your departure for 5 hours? 

written by Laurie Weiss \\ tags: , ,

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