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Oct 13
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Remember the time you got one little piece of information that completely shifted how you felt about yourself or someone else. Remember the relief that came with the recognition that you were just like everybody else. It’s almost like affirming “Im really OK after all.”
I had one of those moments while flying back from spending time at my daughter’s home in Paris. I didn’t do a lick of professional reading or writing the whole three weeks I was away — until I got on the plane to come home.
I was reading a book about how the brain functions, and suddenly a bunch of information I’ve been accumulating fell into place. I understood that there is actually a reason that I don’t mix grandma and family responsibilities with my professional life. It’s not because I’m lazy. It’s because I really can’t.
All of these years I’ve been beating myself or — at least lately — gently remonstrating myself to get busy have been a waste of time. My brain — and yours — simply is not wired to manage two conflicting channels of information at the same time.
The book showed me that the brain focuses attention most like a toggle switch that changes trains to different tracks — you can go one way or the other but not both ways at the same time. This also explains why multitasking is vastly overrated. It is simply about how quickly we can switch back and forth.
Here I’ve been kicking myself because I get so fully immersed in the full-time grandma role that I can’t even think about the other professional role. I sort of know that it’s in there, but I just can’t get into it. The controls are locked. They’re locked for a good reason.
If they were unlocked I would do a rotten job each time I switched back and forth. It takes a while for me to get firmly back onto either track. That may differ for different people, but that’s the way it is for me. What about you? Can you switch tracks easily?
Just imagine me trying to write a letter like this while keeping my two preschool grandsons from destroying part of the house in their enthusiasm to learn more about it. I know some moms try to do creative work when their children are present, but most I’ve talked to just can’t do it.
So why am I telling you this? There are at least three reasons.
The first is that I love to share what I’ve discovered — sort of like the way my 2 1/2-year-old grandson screams with delight when he sees a picture of himself or of his family members. So if you can benefit from my insights and use them to make your own or someone else’s life better, please do so.
The second reason is that my whole career is about helping people, my beloved clients, have “aha” moments like this. It’s a really positive spiral. I love to do it. Their lives improve. I get a hit because sharing those moments is a rare and wonderful experience.
The third reason is that I need your help.
One of the things that happened while I spent 6 months focused on helping my daughter’s family move to France is that I let my practice diminish. Now I have only a few clients left.
After 35 years of practicing psychotherapy and coaching, I thought that would be all right with me, but it’s not.
My work has always been hard to distinguish from my play. I miss direct client work much more than I thought I would. I want to keep helping people directly as well as through my writing. I don’t really like moving toward retirement.
But the problem is, I’ve been sending out the opposite message. So right now I want you to know that I have changed my tune. I do want more referrals–NOW.
I HAVE SPACE TO WORK WITH FIVE MORE CLIENTS OR COUPLES who want to experience those fantastic moments of clarity and self-acceptance. I love helping couples reclaim deeply troubled relationships.
When I coach you, I’m interested in who you are at your core. I love to help you connect with yourself and others. Helping you live fully and joyfully with other people excites me. My work, through personal contact or through my writing, is about helping you enhance your own life and the lives of the people you’re close to.
Please help me spread the word. I connect with my clients in person, by phone and by Skype. I even have one client in Romania. I use VOIP and the web cam with my family, a new thing, since they are so far away. I haven’t used it for coaching yet, but I will. (Am I technical or what?)
So if you know of anyone or if you yourself would like to talk with me, now is a really good time to get started. Contact me by email or phone (303-794-5379) and we can discuss how we can work together.
Warmly, Laurie
P.S. I wrote most of this about 6 weeks ago — as I was trying to switch tracks from my voluntary family responsibilities back to my professional life. It took me a while to admit that I need help rebuilding my practice and to decide I trusted you enough to share that information with you and to ask for your help.
