Here is a short piece about The Zen of Perfect that makes perfect sense to me when I am in the right frame of mind. When I am in the wrong frame of mind it reminds me that there is another way to look at the world. Enjoy!

http://www.bestofthomas.com/blog/zenofperfect/

Beautiful, Laurie!

Love ya!

Donna

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Laurie -
This is SO excellent!  You are giving me tools for personal growth, but more ­ ways of unpacking important concepts for living and growing into healthy people/groups, in a cross-cultural way.  I am a believer in Jesus with a heart toward bringing understanding among peoples with various belief systems – so that the common aspects of life that we all share can be used to bring us to a place of honoring and understanding those that we may not share ­ insofar as they are not mutually destructive, of course.  Cannibals, for instance, have elements of their perspective that would not lend themselves to this process.  But among wide spectrums of economics, politics, language, and understandings or ways of relating with or explaining the supernatural, there are common themes and patterns of life which, when approached with open heart, can go a long way toward diffusing tensions and miscommunications that lead to ‘needless’ war etc.  I reflect often on the moment in history when Jimmy Carter, Menachim Begin, and Anwar Sedat sat down to ‘wage peace’ so that their grandchildren would not live in a world ripped by strife.  Also the idea that we study war so our children can study mathematics so their children can study music…. There is within that idea some wisdom, but I think we are coming to the point where we see that along with war, we have to study peace and learn to listen to hear – not to argue back.  This is where your contribution comes in, and it is significant.
So I thank you and promise to make good use of the skills you share.
Blessings,
Mary

More about Laurie Weiss

1. What is one thing to start doing, which would have the most positive influence on your life right now?
2. What is one thing to stop doing, which would have the most positive influence on your life right now?

I invite you to answer those questions for yourself. When I answered them and started thinking about the implications of my answers I learned a lot about myself.

My answers were to stop reading my e-mail first thing in the morning and to start writing more frequently. So here goes…

I am now more aware of how I measure my contribution to the world beyond the mutual contribution I make in all my direct, personal relationships.

My contribution is the writing I do that helps others to change and grow without my direct presence. I measure contribution by the standard Eric Berne proposed 40 years ago: “is it good for the infant mortality rate?” To me that standard means is what I am doing ultimately contributing to a world in which more babies that are born alive stay alive.

* Educating and coaching people about how to have important conversations is key for me.
* I care that relationships work so that both children and adults get what they need from others.
* I believe in selfishness as described by Thomas Leonard in The Portable Coach. This means being aware of and communicating your own needs to others.
* I also believe that agreements people make with each other should be honored (or changed by mutual consent.)
* I want to help people operate with as much integrity as possible.

In order to do this I need to become more proficient with tools that will get my message out into the world. I’ll be contributing what I’m thinking about to two different blogs or perhaps three and my goal is to publish at least twice a week.

This is a creative production goal rather than an outcome goal. Outcome goals don’t work well for me. They don’t leave enough room to be surprised and I often surprise myself. It’s a goal of staying in a creative tension so that I stay productive. This is how I will stay in integrity with myself.

I need to stay in the creative tension instead of drifting off into “deserving retirement” or just grandmothering. I do enjoy my freedom to explore and travel and I adore my grandchildren. Both of those are fine in their place, but they are not enough for me. I need to stay creative and contributing in order to feel fully alive and happy.

That’s a lot of insight from answering two questions. I admit I was in a very stimulating environment where I was surrounded by other master coaches all challenging each other to live their dreams.

I hope you answer the questions for yourself, take time to think about the implications of your answers and share what you learn.

You can post your answers and comments here. If you prefer, send them directly to me and I’ll put them up on the blog for you.

More about Laurie Weiss

My daughter sent a note saying if I was going to talk about getting organized I should tell you about NAPO, The National Association of Professional Organizers. There is an organizer search function to find help with your organizing needs. 

Enjoy!

Dr. Joe Rubino is one of the world’s foremost experts on the topic of Self-Esteem and best-selling author of The Self-Esteem Book: The Ultimate Guide to Boost the Most Underrated Ingredient for Success and Happiness in Life. He
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By the time we finished we had a car trunk full of items to deliver to a donation center, several huge boxes of papers to recycle, a pile of trash and many miscellaneous items related to the obsolete technology of developing film in a darkroom.

Some of the choices were easy to make. We asked questions like,

• Do you need this?  
• Will you miss it if you never see it again?  
• What on earth is this?  
• Can somebody else use this?” 

Other choices were more difficult.

Photography was a hobby shared by my husband and my dad, who bequeathed his (then ancient) darkroom equipment to us over 40 years ago. A few pieces have sentimental value. I remember using them while helping my father in his darkroom when I was a child. Yet they have no place in my life now. We haven’t decided how to dispose of those things yet.

A question we didn’t ask is why many of the things we saved for so many years were important in the first place. Why did we save them?

I think I saved most things because I expected to use them again. Then I didn’t, and it took more time to make decisions about disposing of them than it did to just let them accumulate. That’s my style. I’m not proud of it. I have a computer full of files that could be pruned — but they’re even less visible than what was in the storeroom. 

How about you? Would you feel better if you released some of the things you intended to use again? Or is it better to just keep moving forward and leave the clutter hidden away until you are moved to address it?

I don’t have an answer for you. What I suggest is to make a choice and relax. What we did do makes me feel lighter as we move into the busyness of the holiday season. And I’m not worrying at all about what I haven’t done yet. 

I wish you and the people you love a joyful and relaxed holiday season.

Also — If you are having trouble dealing with the holidays, watch for a blog post in a few days. My colleague, Dr. Joe Rubino,
created a free 45-minute audio recording called 7 Steps to Soaring Self-Esteem. You can claim it now at http://cli.gs/V8WdP2 if you like, or wait  for the post that explains it in more detail. 
It’ll be a great way for you to start the New Year.

Me: So you didn’t live up to your ideals.

Client: That’s right.

Me: Do you think most people live up to their ideals?

Client: I guess they don’t.

Me: Most of us develop our ideals long before we encounter reality.

Client: Hmmmmm

More about Laurie Weiss

Me:  So you didn’t live up to your ideals.

Client: That’s right.

Me:  Do you think most people live up to their ideals?

Client:  I guess they don’t.

Me:  Most of us develop our ideals long before we encounter reality.

Client:  Hmmmmm

More about Laurie Weiss

1. Pillow to pillow 24.5 hours awake, 23 hours travel time. Now, after 8 hours sleep thinking about food and suitcases. about 10 hours ago from web
2. Downloading my email in the Philadelphia airport after a pleasant 8.5 hr flight from Barcelona.3:11 PM Apr 24th from web
3. Starting to transition to my other life. Wonderful day at the pool with my grandsons. Sad that this time with them is over. Leave early AM.2:52 PM Apr 23rd from web
4. Reading: “Become a Blogging Maniac » Week 2″ (http://twitthis.com/anl8de )2:45 PM Apr 23rd from TwitThis
5. “Rhinoceroses can kill things. They have smelly breath that is poison.” A (age 4 1/2) to E (age 3)1:35 AM Apr 22nd from web
6. Getting ready for bed after a glorious day of sightseeing on the Mediterranean coast of Spain­only 2 more days to enjoy this vacation.3:17 PM Apr 21st from web
7. It’s hard to remember all of who I am when I’m mostly “Grandma” so I posted 4Things Meme on Facebook http://tinyurl.com/ch9qgd 12:13 PM Apr 20th from web
8. “…increasingly, individuals are turning to coaches for help with every sort of problem.” – Boston Globe http://tinyurl.com/cytpjv 11:08 AM Apr 20th from web
9. Funny to know it’s only 3pm at home and bedtime here. I can scarcely keep my eyes open after an afternoon exploring a medieval town.3:03 PM Apr 19th from web
10. Wow! Finally frist Begur album, grandchildren on and off beaches and 3 of Dali Museum http://tinyurl.com/c6rk48 3:21 PM Apr 18th from web
11. Too tired to remember how to upload photos of the Dali museum to Facebook. I’ll try again tomorrow.2:46 PM Apr 17th from web
12. “The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress.” Joseph Jobert http://www.RelationshipHQ.c… 2:29 PM Apr 17th from web
13. Just enjoyed a private class with my Paris based, Jazzercise instructor daughter, Rachel Claret. http://momzen.blogspot.com/ 3:58 AM Apr 17th from web
14. Remembering Barcelona fishmarket: Fierce Fishmonger video http://tinyurl.com/c3v2cp 12:35 PM Apr 16th from web
15. Waiting for the interminable cycle of the Spanish washing machine to complete itself so we can hang the clothes and take boys to the beach.2:41 AM Apr 16th from web
16. More photos from Barcelona on Facebook http://tinyurl.com/c5vaj8 9:58 AM Apr 15th from web
17. People who learn to ask for what they want experience less stress and more joy. Thomas Leonard http://tinyurl.com/c5geye 1:36 AM Apr 15th from web
18. Question of the morning­how far from Paris to Hong Kong, Paris to Denver, Denver to Hong Kong. Thank you Wikipedia.1:05 AM Apr 15th from web
19. Starting the day cuddling 4 year old grandson. What a treat. Followed by 8 year old and 10 year old. Checking distances around the world.1:04 AM Apr 15th from web
20. Are you a coach looking for a “bigger game to play?” Learn how to take it up a notch here:http://tinyurl.com/c5geye 7:04 AM Apr 14th from web
21. Coffee in the square, fresh warm baguette and great cheese.Looking at the ocean while littlest grandchildren nap. Vacation is great.6:34 AM Apr 14th from web
22. @THetherington Lots of women find baldness sexy. Divorce is about other things. http://www.RelationshipHQ.com 12:50 AM Apr 14th from web
23. Here is where Jonathan and I am today http://tinyurl.com/chkgfl complete with 4 grandsons and their parents.4:28 AM Apr 13th from web
24. Barcelona photos: http://tinyurl.com/cdee4c 12:42 PM Apr 12th from web
25. RT @brad_callen has a cool, new FREE tool to massively increase the number of Twitter followers you have! http://www.twiveaway.com 11:05 AM Apr 12th from web
26. Sitting overlooking the ocean on a cold, rainy evening in Begur–North of Barcelona–Waiting for family to arrive–cozy, beautiful music.11:02 AM Apr 12th from web
27. Getting ready to leave Barcelona and drive to Begur. Today is cold and damp and shops are closed for Easter–a good time to travel.2:32 AM Apr 12th from web
28. Parc Geull http://tinyurl.com/c93r5y beyond belief!4:05 PM Apr 10th from web
29. Rejoicing! After 60 hrs we have all our bags in showery Barcelona. Parc Guell highlight of the day.4:05 PM Apr 10th from web
30. Enjoying gorgeous, cosmopolitan Barcelona­1 bag of 4 arrived­3 went to Madrid?? US Air only only gives info 5 hrs/day.2:21 PM Apr 9th from web
31. Miro Museum, Teleferic up (gondala)deMontjuric (Barcelona hill), tour bus, incredible! I’m exhausted…happy 2:14 PM Apr 9th from web
32. Joined my daughter’s family for part of Seder in Paris via Skype from Barcelona. Who needs luggage) http//:www.momzen.blogspot.com 2:22 PM Apr 8th from web
33. Amazing! Sagrada Familia Cathedral started in 19th century, partially finished in 21st. http://tinyurl.com/2gxmnu 2:13 PM Apr 8th from web
34. We’re in Barcelona and our luggage is in Baltimore. Everyone except US Air is friendly and helpful.6:01 AM Apr 8th from web
35. United Air Lines still has Xmas music on their classical channel­inviting me to get into the holiday spirit.5:59 AM Apr 8th from web
36. Organizing my life for 19 days of travel. Tomorrow is packing day. Tonight is spreading everything everywhere. Time to clear off the bed.9:59 PM Apr 5th from web