Even conscious, aware, growing people are often puzzled about what to do to solve specific problems in their lives. Although you may realize that you have influence over what happens to you and have been examining your life for some time, when a problem arises you want an answer, a solution, and you want it quickly. Here are answers to questions often asked by people who are growing. They are practical guidelines for getting unstuck and moving on with your life.
These posts are real questions from real clients. The answers are excerpted from my collected questions and answers in I Don’t Need Therapy, but Where Do I Turn for Answers?
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laurieweiss@empowermentsystems.com
weiss@empowermentsystems.com
I am 67 yrs old. Apparently I have a PA personality type. My wife thinks that whenever I forget something that it is a deliberate act of PA. I don’t agree but have no way of convincing her otherwise. What can i do to help myself?
Hi Joe,
If you really do want to increase your chances of remembering there are a couple of things you can experiment with.
The general principle is making only agreements that you are willing and intend to keep — and then doing something(s) to be sure you are clear about what you have agreed to do. So…
Restate and clarify any agreement you make. Example: “You want me to call and arrange for the trash pickup. Is that right?”
When you have a “yes” answer say, “OK, I will call and arrange for the trash pickup.” Saying it aloud twice helps you remember later.
If there is a time frame for the agreement, state that too. If not, make your own and state it aloud. “I’ll do it before Wednesday.”
Make a note about your agreement and put it where you will see it.
Important: If you don’t want to do something, say so aloud. Then decide whether or not you will do it anyway. If you agree to do it, follow the steps I suggested.
By the way, passive aggressive behavior is rarely deliberate. It is usually done at least semi-unconsciously. That makes it even more of a problem to combat.
Good luck.
Laurie